Thursday, 9 August 2007

America, You're Welcome. Warm Regards, Sir Dick

You've been living in aviation squalor for years now, poor Americans. Though some of you have had the opportunity to fly the bright future that is Virgin Atlantic, I'm proud to have been part of the group to get Virgin America off the ground.

(According to the lawyers, I have to be careful how I phrase my involvement. Some of your regulators got their pants/panties in a bundle because they thought an Englishman, aka foreigner, had too much control over Virgin America. Bollocks! You think I have time to micromanage??? I'm starting three new businesses a week! The only reason I haven't formed a Virgin Law partnership is because the rest of the lawyers would tie me up in knots getting it going... not to say that I'm still not thinking about it.)

Back to the main story, Virgin America. Try it out! We've got all the fancy new equipment all the way up to and including a network for every seat on the plane. Plus, you think we hire flight attendants that aren't hot?? We screen for that from the start. VA has a special door they have to get through for one interview, which eliminates the fatties. There are other tricks we've got to keep the fit (but ugly) ones out. Rest assured, you'll have a fantastic experience on board Virgin America, and for a competitive low price. ($139 one-way from San Francisco to New York!) Say "goodbye" to the mess of jetblue, bi-coasters.

Just thank me... Sir Dick.

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