Lord Foster, he's brilliant!

So I'm building a brand-new spaceport in New Mexico for Virgin Galactic, which is probably my most ambitious Virgin project ever. (And believe me, that's remarkable.) And I'm announcing next week that we've hired Lord Foster to design it.

Lord Foster, that sounds like a tosser's name, you say? You're an ignorant sod, I say.

Norm, as I like to call him, has designed a number of beautiful and groundbreaking buildings. Some of them look like phalluses, which I find amusing.



We're all hoping that he can do something phallus-like for Virgin Galactic, too. It will help remind you of our incredibly hot flight attendants on Virgin Atlantic and Virgin America. But since it's an entire spaceport in the middle of the damn desert of New Mexico, he might not get the same inspiration. We'll see.

Anyway, look for the news on this next week. But remember, Sir Dick gave you the information first!

PS- Please remember that you can still donate to the support fund for the families of the victims of the explosion at the company that's building my rocket.

New Zealand, you're welcome

I know, I know. Everyone is still talking about how I got in a little splashing contest with Stephen Colbert. Yes, you can even see it online now. But I'm here to talk about something else.

New Zealand, you're welcome. My new airline service to your little country will end the price-pillaging you've had to endure for far too long from Air New Zealand. The subsidiary of Virgin Blue, Pacific Blue, will now be competing against those ignorant old sods that used to be your only choice for inter-country travel.

That's what you can count on from Virgin... great service for low prices. (And don't forget our incredibly hot flight attendants!)

Yes, I know the picture above is of a "Virgin Blue" plane, not a "Pacific Blue" plane. My people are working on it.

It's a long Bank Holiday weekend!

Hello, fellow Virgin-ites!

It's nearly the Bank Holiday weekend, so don't expect to hear from me for a few days. I'll still be working the whole time, but I like to call it "strategic thinking." (Also known as lying back and calling my minions as inspiration strikes. There are about 15-20 new businesses I see Virgin getting into in the next week or two, and I need some more time mulling them over before I make my decision and set the Virgin Group into motion.

Ah... it'll be a beautiful weekend. Have a great holiday, yourselves.

Warm regards,
Sir Dick

Are you scared?

So there are some real losers out there, who somehow are scared of flying. What?? You have a better chance of dying on a London Underground escalator than you do of flying. (Not that I ever take the Tube, of course... it's something my advisors tell me.)

Well, as always, Virgin is coming to the rescue. We've started this "Flying Without Fear" course to help people get over their irrationality. (Or at least the fear of flying irrationality.) More can be found on it here:

Flying Without Fear

So if you're scared of flying, come try it out. And if getting over your fear doesn't convince you, you'll also get a photo of yours truly. (Suitable for framing, naturally.)

Warm regards,
Sir Dick

Virgin HQ moving to the British Virgin Islands

This London weather has gotten to be too much. I haven't told my advisors yet, but I'm going to move all of the Virgin businesses down to the British Virgin Islands. NOT Necker Island, that's still mine, but close by.

Sure, there might be a hurricane or two where we'll need to re-locate from the islands, but it's better than staying here in this cold, rainy, windy city. I'm getting irritated by this constant s**t weather... it's August!

I'm seriously reconsidering my commitment to stopping global warming, and instead thinking of starting fires in rubbish bins across London just to help heat things up. This is getting ridiculous.

(Trying to stay) warm regards,
Sir Dick

Virgin Private Equity

As I finally get my hands out of the day-to-day details, Sir Dick is finally able to get back to my strategic business roots. (You know, the ones where I can lay in my hammock on my island and just think about everything.)

Well, the New York Times (the "black widow" of American newspapers, or something like that) has a little article talking about the Virgin Group becoming more like a private equity firm. So what, I say! I'm Richard Branson, and can do whatever the hell I want to with my companies. So now I want to bring all of my hard work public... that's bad now? Crazy Yanks.... no wonder we let them go.

You can see their article (cleverly disguised as a "blog post") here.

Don't think I'm quitting; I'm just getting started!

So it's clear that it's been a while since I've been a hands-on businessman; I'm more the big-picture strategy head. And I've finally gotten rid of the little hands-on duties that I've been saddled with for a while. See here:

http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/article2280440.ece

What I'm focusing on now is all these new business ideas that I've been ruminating over for months and years. Now that I don't have to deal with any of the s**t that comes with actually implementing it, I can just be the face of Virgin success. Brilliant, wouldn't you say?

Get ready world. Virgin Stationary, Virgin Computers, Virgin Double-Glazed Windows and more are on their way!

Warm regards,
Sir Dick